As divorce and family law attorneys, it isn’t uncommon for us to encounter name-calling between parties. If it’s an insult, it’s almost certainly been hurled by one party at another in a divorce. Over the last few years, one of the most common names and most frequent buzz words that parties caught in the middle of a domestic relations dispute use is “narcissist.”

Narcissism is a term used to describe a personality style that was named after the ancient myth of Narcissus, a man who fell in love with his own reflection. A clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is most commonly associated with symptoms including a strong sense of entitlement and superiority, need for attention, and a lack of empathy. Unsurprisingly, many people feel that the spouse or partner with whom they disagree on a number of topics have symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. Many parties provide their own diagnosis of their spouse or partner to almost anyone who will listen despite having no training in psychology. While a parties’ behavior may have some impact on some of the issues in the case and there may be issues of behavior that should be presented to a court, clinging to a label or insisting on a diagnosis is extremely unlikely to have a positive impact on the outcome of a divorce or family law case.

In Oregon, there are no statutes, laws, rules, or otherwise that say that a diagnosis of narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder provide either party in a divorce or family law dispute with any kind of legal advantage. Again, the behavior MAY have an impact on a divorce or custody case and this isn’t to say that such behavior should go unchecked. However, becoming preoccupied with applying a label to the other party or trying to prove a diagnosis can easily distract an otherwise well-positioned party to their own detriment.

In other words, don’t get so wrapped up in trying to prove that someone is a “narcissist” or has a personality disorder that you lose sight of what you really need to resolve your case. There are certainly difficult people in the world and courts are aware that some people are misguided or in love with their thoughts and the sound of their own voice. Trying to demonstrate that your former partner fits that bill may do very little to advance your cause, particularly if it causes you to lose sight of putting your best foot forward.