Of the different issues in a divorce or family law case, none seems to be more personal and emotional than the inevitable disruption of the parties’ relationships with their children. Most of the things that people lose in a divorce can be replaced. People get new homes and rebuild their retirement assets, but some things can’t be replaced.
You can usually earn more money, but you can’t get back time with your kids. They’re only young for a little while.

It’s understandable that a very common question for parties in a divorce or family law case is: What should I do to get more parenting time with my kids?

People oftentimes think that there is some unique strategy or special secret to convincing a court that they are a superior parent. Spend five minutes looking and you’ll find that the internet is full of stories of people trying to “fight dirty” or “destroy” the other parent. While every situation is different and parties should consult with an attorney to develop a strategy for their individual circumstances, parties should consider the philosophy of Occam’s razor. This principle suggests that the most obvious solution is most often the correct solution.

So, what is the most obvious solution to the puzzle of getting more parenting time? Be the best parent that you can possibly be.

If you wanted to be picked first at basketball, you’d work hard at being the best basketball player possible. If you were applying for a job, you’d want to be the best candidate possible. Yet, people oftentimes seem to think that the best way to get more parenting time is to point out all the flaws of the other parent while ignoring their own responsibilities as a parent. These responsibilities include, but certainly are not limited to, being available to care for their kids; feeding them; getting them to school; taking them to appointments; transporting them to their activities; taking time off work if they are sick; providing them with a safe and healthy environment; spending quality time with them; helping them with their homework; emotionally supporting them; and teaching them to be members of society.

Equally important is the responsibility to coexist with the other parent. Children are keenly aware when there is tension between their parents, so coexisting is a vitally important task that becomes extremely complicated if you’re trying to “conquer” the other parent or, for lack of a better term, “win”.

Oftentimes, the quickest possible way to get more parenting time is to get the other parent to agree to let you have more parenting time. You’re probably more likely to reach that agreement if you’re helping the other parent rather than being in constant conflict and making their lives more difficult.

Yes, under some circumstances this may not be enough, but it still shouldn’t be forgotten. Don’t let yourself get so caught up in the situation that you forget what is most important.