In the midst of a divorce or custody battle, it is common for the parties to try to pursue the result that they believe that their child wants. Oftentimes parties even bluntly ask: can my child pick which parent they want to live with?

In Oregon, the quick answer is that a minor child does not get to simply decide which parent that they want to live with. However, that does not mean that a child’s preference has absolutely no weight. A child’s preference is a factor that a court may consider in its determination of custody or parenting time. As with any factors that a court considers, the weight that the court will give to the child’s preference really depends on the specific circumstances of the case. For example, the preference of a 16 year-old who has a job and can drive is likely going to carry more weight than the preference of a 3 year-old who can’t even write his own name yet because of the significant difference in the age and maturity of the children.

Many children, however, don’t have a preference or at least don’t want to have to share a preference for many reasons, including not wanting to hurt the feelings of their parents. So it’s not always something that will even be presented to a court. Presenting a child’s preference isn’t as simple as just telling the court what you think your child
wants. There are methods to present evidence of your child’s preference, but there are rules of evidence and the court that need to be obeyed.  If you’re considering pursuing a case and want to be able to present evidence of your child’s preference to the court, it is a really good idea to meet with an experienced family law attorney
who can help you organize and prepare your evidence so that you will be able to effectively present this evidence.