A task that is probably near the top of most people’s “Things I Don’t Want to Do” list is to meet with a divorce attorney. Nobody plans to end up in a divorce or custody case. So, if you find yourself having to meet with someone, it’s completely understandable if you aren’t entirely prepared. With that in mind, here is a list of suggestions for things you can or should be ready to discuss when meeting with a family law attorney.

Be Ready to Tell Your Story
It’s certainly uncomfortable to have to share personal details with someone who is likely a complete stranger. It can be hard to know what’s important and there may be things that are embarrassing to talk about, so it’s understandable to have apprehension about having this conversation. Rest assured that most divorce attorneys have heard a lot of interesting tales, so they’re not likely to judge you for your misfortune or your perceived mistakes. On top of that, everything you discuss with your attorney is confidential, so you don’t need to worry about them telling anyone about your private life.

Ultimately though, your lawyer needs to be able to get the fullest and most honest picture possible so that they can give you the best advice and get you headed in the right direction. You don’t want your attorney to be surprised by anything and a good attorney will be able to separate the important information from the unimportant information. Your attorney can’t tell your story without your help, so make sure that you’re ready to share everything so that you can get the most value out of your time.

Think About Your Goals                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   The reality of divorce is that there are countless ways that a case can be resolved. If you ask ten different lawyers or judges to plot out an outcome for your divorce, you would likely end up with ten different results.

Your lawyer can help you by focusing on specific issues that are most important to you to hopefully get you the result that you desire. Of course, if you don’t provide them with any guidance, your attorney may substitute what they think you want in place of what you actually want. This really is an opportunity to start shaping the next phase of your life and if you haven’t started thinking about what you would like that next phase to look like, it would be a good idea to be thinking about it before you meet with a lawyer to make sure your goals are attainable. Put simply, if your attorney doesn’t know what you want and what’s important to you, they won’t know how to go about trying to get you the result that you want.

Are There Any Issues That Need to Be Addressed Right Away?
Divorce and family law cases can move slowly, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait forever to get some relief. If there are issues that need immediate attention, you should be ready to discuss those issues with your attorney. You can usually wait to worry about long-term issues until after you can get your life stabilized, but if you need immediate help, you need to let your lawyer know.

Think about it this way, if you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t be in the emergency room telling the doctor that you occasionally have headaches in the afternoon. Your attorney can be the same way. If you don’t mention any pressing issues, they may not realize that you need relief sooner rather than later. Being ready to share these pressing needs with your attorney can help your attorney be ready to act to get you relief in the most efficient way possible.

What Issues Are Likely to Be the Most Debated?
It’s also extremely helpful if you can be up front with what issues may require the most work. The attorney may not be able to immediately determine where the greatest source of conflict lies and, without your guidance, could end up talking to you about an issue where there isn’t much debate and, thereby, leaving less time to discuss the more complex issues. It’s your time and your money, so be sure to speak up and help guide the conversation to the issues that need the most attention.

The attorney should appreciate your helping them to understand the situation and if they don’t, it may be a sign that the relationship may not work. The time you have with your attorney will likely be somewhat limited, so it’s likely going to be in your best interest to get down to business as quickly as possible.

Write Down Important Questions
Being as prepared as possible can help you save time and money. If you don’t have questions or at least topics that you would like to be covered, you could easily spend more time and money trying to get everything straight in your mind. There are a lot of things that could be discussed and most people don’t have a lot of experience
meeting with a divorce and family law attorney. This creates a perfect storm for missing or forgetting what you really want to talk about. Writing down the topics and questions that you have before your meeting is a helpful way to make sure that you cover as much as possible and to also help you stay on track so that you hopefully don’t miss anything.

Don’t Assume That You Know the Answer

The internet and the free-flowing dissemination of information can be a truly wonderful thing. You can have no experience cooking and turn yourself into a quality chef with free information available to you on a device in your pocket. At the same time, the universe has balanced the availability of good, helpful information with an
equal, if not greater, amount of bad information. The world is full of many misconceptions about divorce, family law, and an individual’s rights. Reading something on a website or hearing an anecdote from a friend is not proof or reason to believe that your situation will work out the same way.

Family law is somewhat complicated. Lawyers with decades worth of experience in other areas of law won’t even consider working in family law due to its complications. As such, it behooves you to be open and honest with your attorney. If you assume that you already know the answer, you could easily miss sharing an important detail with your attorney. Mistaken understandings of the law can lead clients to withhold information that is actually incredibly valuable to their attorney.

You’re paying your lawyer to give you advice based on their experiences. Don’t let it go to waste by being your own worst enemy.