A very commonly misunderstood issue in divorce and family law cases that can needlessly cause conflict is the meaning of the term “custody”. This misunderstanding can lead to unnecessary posturing and behavior that is financially and emotionally draining for the parents and their children. “Custody” is oftentimes misunderstood as dictating which parent the child spends time with. A very common myth that is perpetuated is the suggestion that, the parents need to have “joint custody” in order for both parents to spend time with the children.

In Oregon, whether or not you have custody can have very little do to with the time you actually spend with your children. Under Oregon law, the parent who has “custody” of a child is the parent who has decision-making authority for the child. Specifically, the custodial parent has the authority to make decisions regarding the child’s medical care, education, and religious training. If, and only if, the parents agree to share that decision-making responsibility, the parents can share joint custody of the child. If the parents disagree, a court will have to pick one parent.

Regardless of which parent has custody, in Oregon, the child still has a right to have a relationship with both parents to the extent that it is in the child’s best interest. Oregon law also provides both parents with certain rights that they enjoy regardless of who has custody. In other words, even if a parent does not have custody, that alone does not limit their ability to spend time with their child and be involved in the different aspects of the child’s life. Understanding this distinction between “custody” and “parenting time” can be an important step toward resolution in a divorce or family law dispute. If you are facing a dispute over custody of a child, it is important to be familiar with these concepts so that you can be sure that you are working to get what is most important to you.